"One of the cruellest things you can do to another person is pretend you care about them more than you really do."
“All the phone calls, the dates, the coffee that would
keep me giggling way past my bedtime. Your voice,
rough and crooning, a verbal caress that would have
me on my hands and knees. I would wrap my hands
around your voice and cradle it. If I could. What else
is there but these nights on the phone, or out at some
diner where the waitress tries to slip you her number
on a stained napkin? Her lipstick is crooked on her
mouth and I wonder if you want to fix it. There is the
long walk home, where you try to take my hand and I
make you work for it. Chase it. Chase me. There is the
kiss at the door. Another kiss. More. We are wrapped
around each other like sickness. Finally disentangling
myself long enough to tell you I’ll call you later and then
watching the thinness of your back fade into the dark.
There are a lot of nights like this: clumsy, unseasonably
warm, a blood-fever in the veins. I have discovered
an animal in me that growls at your touch and whimpers
when you are gone. I cannot tame myself. There is so
much. There is not enough. There are more waitresses
who touch your wrists and palms, who try to get more
out of you than a tip. I can hear the spare change rattle
around inside their rib cages. I don’t know when this
begins to call to you like siren-song. I don’t know when
you began to sing along, but when you call me to tell me
that you’re not so sure, I swallow the love that tries to
crawl out of my throat, and the animal within me hangs
- 1 small roasted beet
- 1 15 oz. can (1¾ cup) cooked chickpeas, mostly drained
- zest of one large lemon
- juice of half a large lemon
- healthy pinch salt and black pepper
- 2 large cloves garlic, minced
- 2 heaping Tbsp tahini
- ¼ cup extra virgin olive oil
- See roasting instructions here.
- Once your beet is cooled and peeled, quarter it and place it in your food processor. Blend until only small bits remain.
- Add remaining ingredients except for olive oil and blend until smooth.
- Drizzle in olive oil as the hummus is mixing.
- Taste and adjust seasonings as needed, adding more salt, lemon juice or olive oil if needed. If it’s too thick, add a bit of water.
- Will keep in the fridge for up to a week.
"I want to talk to everybody I can as deeply as I can. I want to be able to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night."
"I think it’s intoxicating when somebody is so unapologetically who they are."